How to tell if you're burning out
The burnout triage, the 20-second pause and the opposite of burnout
The simple burnout triage
The burnout triage was developed by blogger Ben McCormack. This is a powerful way to self-diagnose if you or a friend has burnout. He invites you to ask the following question:
“If you take the pace & quality of the last 2 months of your life and repeat it again and again, how long would you be able to sustain it?”
Two months is a long enough time to get a snapshot of how your work and life are making you feel. It’s long enough to account for the fact that there will occasionally be days or maybe a week that is very stressful, which we all have.
However, if we truly feel that the last two months have been soul-crushing and exhausting, and see us having the exact same schedule for the next two months, it’s a pretty clear sign to step back.
McCormack says that he usually gets three answers when he asks this question:
“I can’t go on like this.” This is a sure sign that personal needs are not being met, their life is out of balance, and they are either on the way to burnout or already burned out.
“I can make this work, but…” Usually, it becomes clear where there is a priority that is being neglected. Perhaps you want more time in the evenings with family, or want to prioritize hobbies more, or your own learning.
“I love my life, and I can keep doing this forever…” If this is where you are right now, then I am pretty sure you don’t have burnout! Cherish it.
If you’re having nightmares every night, panic attacks, and pains in your chest, popping a pill is only going to temporarily ease your pain. How does it feel to be in your situation without medicating and over-stimulating. Is it sustainable?
Had I asked myself the question at the very beginning of my startup journey, I personally would have answered “a few years.” But as I began to pile more and more on my plate and my sense of achievement became markedly diminished, I began to ask myself how I could keep this up even for a few more weeks.
It could be okay to live in an unsustainable place for a few weeks, even a couple of months, as long as you are hyper-aware of the situation (which we tend not to be). There could be a situation where you’ve got a big work project, just had a baby, and lost a family member all in the last couple of months. Life happens. You realize this is a temporarily stressful time in your life and not chronic.
However, contrast to this a situation where you cannot see a way out. For example, working late every night without any end in sight, neglecting seeing friends or investing in yourself with zero plan or expectation to reverse this. In these cases, it’s important to get laser-focused on what needs are not being met and begin to address them before you head closer towards burnout.
Wise action and the 20-second pause
Buddhism's Noble Eightfold Path includes “wise action” as a necessary step to awakening and living the good life. Specifically, that means no killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, gossip, and avoiding substances that cloud your judgment (like alcohol).
This is easy enough. But wise action also extends beyond these to encompass acts of kindness, generosity, compassion, and the cultivation of wholesome qualities. And how do we cultivate this?
We slow down. We take a sacred pause. Viktor Frankl said, “Between the stimulus and the response there is a space, and in that space is your power and your freedom.”
For a few seconds, before taking the next action reflexively, we check in with ourselves and our bodies. Mindfulness teacher Tara Brach talks about putting this into practice using the “20-second pause.”
“Your whole biochemistry and perspective shifts with a twenty second pause. You might do it after you hang up the phone or after an email. Or as you are walking outside, just stop and completely drop everything and just open your senses for twenty seconds. Or while you are conversing with a friend (if it is a person that doesn’t think you are weird.) Just stop together, pause together.”
Seriously, when is the last time you took a pause that long before jumping to the next task? Try it out. We want to rush to feeling better, more peaceful and relaxed. We’re so used to doing that we think doing is going to give us the answers, but it’s usually not. The solution is more often than not to slow down. Do less, be more.
A zen story to illustrate:
A new student comes to the monastery and says to the Abbot, “I want to join. How long is it going to take me to be enlightened?”
And the Abbot says: “Ten years.”
And so the student goes, “Well, what if I work twice as hard?”
And the abbot says: “Twenty years.”
“Well, wait a minute! You just said ten years!” the student exclaimed.
“For you, 30 years.”
The opposite of burnout
And what does it feel like to be in a place that is NOT leading to burnout?
Eckhart Tolle talks about taking an inner journey to understand your true nature. Your true nature is not your thoughts, emotions or body. It’s beyond that. As you realize this (through meditation, psychedelics, etc), you start to identify less and less with your ego. The less you identify with your ego — that part of us that feels separate from others and says “Me, mine, I” — the more freely you can live your life.
However, this deep internal knowledge doesn’t always translate to external action that makes you happy. We still get caught up in bad habits. He suggests three ways to know if you’re operating from a place of ego, that is, you’re ego-driven (ultimately unsatisfying) or if you’re operating from a nonjudgmental place of loving-awareness and ego-less ness:
“If you are not in the state of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm, look closely and you will find that you are creating suffering for yourself and others.”
To break them down:
Acceptance: “Whatever you cannot enjoy doing, you can at least accept that this is what you have to do…Performing an action in the state of acceptance means you are at peace while you do it…” For example, folding the laundry, doing your taxes or changing your car tire at 2am in the pouring rain doesn’t have to be enjoyable, nor do you have to be enthusiastic. But you can at least accept the situation and just do the task.
Enjoyment: “Joy does not come from what you do, it flows into what you do and thus into this world from deep within you…You will enjoy any activity in which you are fully present…” When you are in the present moment, and you’ve accepted things, you might find yourself starting to enjoy them. There’s another saying that speaks to this: Passion usually comes after action.
Enthusiasm: “Sustained enthusiasm brings into existence a wave of creative energy, and all you have to do is 'ride the wave'.” Enthusiasm is intensified enjoyment of what you are doing; this just arises naturally when you accept and naturally enjoy your task. It comes in waves, and especially comes out in creative tasks. It’s usually easier to set a vision or a goal. Doing what you are doing is intensely fulfilling.
Tolle’s suggestion is that if you are not operating from one of these three modes, you should stop what you’re doing. And then do what? Go back to the sacred, 20 second pause. Take a step back and see if you can, at minimum, accept what’s going on.
And if you cannot accept it, ask yourself why. When you do, perhaps you notice you have unrealistic expectations or are being impatient; this pause is enough to help you accept the moment.
Other times, you realize that you have crossed your own boundaries, and there is no way to sustain what you’re doing with acceptance or joy. And in that case, re-assess whether your action is something that is leading you down a negative spiral — or if its been like this for weeks/months, perhaps even burnout — and decide on the wisest action.