I’m busy VS. It’s not my priority
I’m busy VS. It’s not my priority
When you were a kid you almost never used the word ‘busy.’ You played, went to school, and hung out with friends. Your priorities were clear because there weren’t too many. As your responsibilities increased, schoolwork piled up and pressure mounted from parents and teachers. Busy began to feel real.
Somewhere along the way it started to become an excuse. Too busy to take a day off, too busy to try a new hobby, too busy to take the first step towards a big goal. When you offer a so-called busy bee (chicken with head cut off sort of person) a suggestion, their responses can range from annoyed, snarky, bitter, defeatist, dismissive and even condescending.
What? Start yoga and meditation? I barely have time to eat breakfast! [hinting at a mix of emotions]
We all have the same 24 hours in the day. Being busy could mean you’re slightly busy or overwhelmed or just running around. It’s unclear. What you are usually trying to say isn’t that you’re busy, but that it is not your priority.
A couple of years ago I shifted from being busy to prioritizing — and verbalizing this. Sorry, this is not my priority. This is a subtle reframing, but reframing your words can be very impactful. The result was more honesty and clarity on my priorities. It’s also painfully illuminating.
Podcasts are not a top priority for me, so I say No to podcast requests. Fundraising was a priority, so investor updates and calls were the first task on the weekly agenda. Playing ukulele and singing lessons on Monday is a priority, so I always keep my calendar blocked (non-negotiable).
In all the above situations when a conflicting request would pop up my response would be “I have to prioritize X and Y” rather than saying I was busy. This honesty is difficult because it means you are telling people they aren't your priority. But they almost always appreciate it.
The questions from there are: When will it be a priority? Will it ever be? Why or why not? If not, am I dragging things out? If so, what am I waiting for?
So next time you’re about to say you’re busy, catch yourself. Replace it by stating your priority. This will force you to be explicit and will get you thinking about what’s important!
What I enjoyed
This summer I had the opportunity to take a 2 day free diving course on the Spanish island of Mallorca, close to Ibiza but without the $10,000 beach villas and coke-snorting Instagram models. Free diving is diving on one breath with minimal gear (flippers, goggles) and no oxygen tank. The instructor Ismael had a mix of passion and seriousness that propelled me into a new world. Taking the course felt like I’d just discovered this amazing well-kept secret, like the time I realized I’d been holding bananas upside down for 25 years of my life. The experience introduced me to a new hobby and proved a reminder that who your teacher is matters a lot. If you’re ever in the area you can check out his freediving school here.
I learned that I can go 30 meters underwater and back on one breath and still feel like I have plenty of breath left. All of us have an innate biological reflex that flicks on when we are submerged in cold water called the Mammalian Dive Reflex. During submersion our heart rate reduces by 20% or more (watch this guy, it’s nuts): note that your face has to be in the water, it can't just be your body. Your spleen also releases more red blood cells to oxygenate your blood and your blood is sent from extremities (feet, hands) to your vital organs. Amazingly, during my dives I remember feeling a slight pressure on the left side of my abdomen, where my spleen is. More on it here.
You can also check out this cool video below to see the world from the eyes of a free diver walking the ocean floor. I’m keen to start exploring some spots, so if you know of any cool free diving spots, particularly in Japan and around SEA, drop me a message!
What I found interesting
We the Power: The Future of Energy is Community-Owned. A film about the citizen-led community-energy movement in Europe and the visionaries lighting the way. Thanks @ Ugo for this one! (documentary, 38 minutes)
The Last True Hermit. In 1986 a man named Christopher Knight lived alone in the Maine woods without any human contact for 27 years until he was discovered in 2013. Pretty incredible story. I’m reading the book too but the podcast does it plenty of justice. (podcast, 47 minutes)
How to Move, Live and Work Abroad. Ready to GTFO out of dodge and move somewhere cooler? Here's a no-BS online course about moving abroad created by my friend David McNeill from ExpatEmpire. He’s traveled the world extensively and has been an expat in Japan, Germany and Portugal.
What I read recently
Improv Wisdom: Don't Prepare, Just Show Up
A light, fun and refreshing book with lessons from the improv world and how to apply them to live a more stress-free life. The prevailing message: don’t overthink it, just start doing stuff.
Notable quotes:
"When you try hard to do your best, the effect on your performance is often to jinx it. In all cases there is something to lose. This can provoke tension and easily lead to anxiety. Instead, try the following advice: “Dare to be dull.” (Keith Johnstone) “Be nothing special.” (David K. Reynolds) “Cultivate ordinary mind.” (a Zen saying)
“The habit of excessive planning impedes our ability to see what is actually in front of us. The mind that is occupied is missing the present.”
"Support someone else’s dreams. Pick a person (your spouse, child, boss), and, for a week, agree with all of her ideas. Find something right about everything he says or does. Look for every opportunity to offer support. Consider her convenience and time preferences ahead of your own. Give him the spotlight. Notice the results."
What I've written recently
Quora: What proportion of people get through an interview but don’t get the job? Rough estimates of the 2019 job application data of the 5 FAANG companies.
What I've been up to
After a few months of fundraising (pre-seed round), I'm happy to say we’ve got several angel investors on board. A tweet I saw a few months ago sums it up pretty well.
The trajectory of responses to my pitches for investment:
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Yes. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Yes No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Quotes I'm pondering
“Try thinking inside the box. Look more carefully.” — Improv wisdom