Lean Into the Cringe
That uncomfortable phrase might be the doorway to your healing
There are certain phrases I used to find unbearable.
"Drop into your heart center."
"You are already whole."
"Just love yourself."
"Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves." (thanks, Mary Oliver)
They felt like cringe-worthy spiritual clichés. Like something you’d find on a throw pillow in a wellness retreat gift shop. Too soft.
But something unexpected happened over the years. As I kept practicing and listening, I began practicing leaning into the cringe. It was just discomfort, after all, so why not face it head on?
These phrases quickly revealed my inner blocks. Often, when I touched into them deeply, they brought a quivering to my heart and made me cry.
If you’re starting to cringe already, then keep reading.
The Cringe Was a Defense
Looking back, the cringe was never about the words themselves. It was about what they touched.
These phrases didn’t land on the surface of my mind, rather, they landed in the places where I was still closed. Where I still felt unworthy of love. Where I hadn’t let myself soften yet.
“I love you” was hard. Even harder: “I love myself.”
For a long time, I couldn’t say those words without flinching. There was a voice inside that said: You haven’t earned it yet. You're not there yet. Who are you to say that?
That voice wasn’t the truth. But it had been running the show for years.
Why These Cheesy Phrases Matter
These so-called “cheesy” phrases actually contain something potent.
They’re not just affirmations. They’re invitations. They invite us to feel something that we’ve been unwilling to feel. And what is unspoken, unfelt…those are the very things holding us back.
If you really let them in—if you sit with them long enough, breathe with them, say them slowly and sincerely—something begins to melt. Like ice turning back into water.
That Time I Said “I Am Bear”
During an outdoor eye gazing workshop I led, I closed the session with a spontaneous nature poem. Something like:
“I am tree. I am wind. I am bear.”
Someone stifled a laugh. Which, I totally get. On one hand it was a weird thing to say, as we don’t usually think of ourselves as trees or bears.
I was speaking from a place of connection, to nature and to myself. But when something poetic and sublime bumps up against our rational-minds, it can’t compute. Cringe.
Sometimes, our deepest truths sound silly at first. With practice, there’s a gradual opening, and they become our native language.
Welcoming the Cringe
Those same phrases—the ones I used to dismiss—are now the ones that break me open. When you stop resisting, you start receiving. And receiving love, even from a few simple words, is one of the most healing things we can do.
Of course, I still bump against the cringe. Earlier this year at a retreat the teacher played a song called I Am Light which I recoiled from initially. I recognized this, then leaned into it, and found myself coming to tears.
Now I actively seek out and welcome the cringe. I sometimes sit with a book of poems and just keep reading until my heart bumps against something. It’s great training.
A Practice
Try this, if you’re curious:
Sit somewhere quiet. Place a hand on your chest.
Take a few breaths into your heart.
Say something like, “I am enough” or “I am light.” or “This is a moment of suffering”
Notice what happens. Not what you think about it—but what you feel. Tingling? Tightness? Emotion? Some armoring, criticism or defense? That’s the work.
One Last Thought
The phrases that make us cringe are often the ones we most need to hear. They reflect the parts of us that are still waiting to be included. Still waiting to be loved.
The shift comes from saying them enough times that something inside you finally believes it’s safe to soften. And when that softening happens, the same words that once made you roll your eyes might become the ones that carry you home.