I’ve just finished meditating for 45 minutes. I’m totally mindful of what I’m doing. The next action comes naturally, like a lily gracefully unfolding its petals.
I pump myself full of caffeine, and open up my Slack app.
For a few seconds, anticipation is rising. Habit kicks in. I get ready to plug into the hive-mind and use my calm zen-like state to contribute my 1s and 0s to some server farm a million miles away.
I’m greeted by a shiny little notification button and a mountain of messages. Unread threads full of tantalizing questions, meandering conversations and half-baked ideas just asking for feedback. They are waiting for me.
I am now ready to share my very important opinions and contribute my meaningful input into this conversation. This is my gift to the world.
Oh baby, it feels so, so good.
I make sure to get back to them ASAP, because everything is urgent. Time is money.
Hello, are you there? Why does it say you're online if you're not really online?
I love responding to people asynchronously in different time zones. It’s great. I can get back to others whenever is convenient for me, and I never have to deal with the inconvenience of a real conversation.
I juggle between feeling a sense of urgency, FOMO, and a false sense of flexibility.
I spend time writing, writing and writing, and I feel that action is happening. I am sure that we are ‘moving the needle’ and one step closer to hitting our arbitrary goals.
I am working. This is work.
When I am done shooting off replies, I check the sales channel. I can see new orders coming in, live. ‘How exciting,’ I think. It’s great to have a pulse on everything, all the time.
I launch into another discussion. But somehow, I get the sense I’ve had this conversation before. Déjà vu. I do a search for past conversations, and it takes me a while. It’s like email, except more disorganized. Indeed, I have had this conversation before. It must have slipped my mind.
Eventually, the sun is setting. My eyes are bloodshot. Time flies when you’re having fun! I know that what I’ve accomplished can’t quite be explained. This is knowledge-work. Brainy stuff — alway tricky to explain. But by god, I sure felt busy.
Beneath the chaotic flurry of typing lies a dull, ever-present anxiety. What is it telling me? I listen.
Before this, you met humans in person. You wrote emails. You even picked up the phone. You sat for hours interrupted in a deep state of concentration. You solved problems and created solutions. You talked less and did more.
Your nice-to-haves have turned into must-haves. But at what cost? Your new “productivity” tool, if its goal is to truly make you more productive, is something you should use less than its predecessors, not more.
Could it be that the endless stream of interruptions is an underlying cause for your frustration, consternation and anxiety? That you have been tricked into a game with no start and no end, just endless chatter? That you have been fooled by de facto neurochemists disguised as proponents of connection and productivity? ...
This pesky feeling tries to surface further, but before it can I quickly squash all of its attempts by doing something else.
The joy of always having distractions. Or, I mean the ‘blessing of many options and living in a world of unparalleled freedoms!’
You see, I am truly the maker of my own destiny.
Yes, of course I have free will.
No, I’m telling you. I am totally in control here.
…Right?
…RIGHT?!?!
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