What I wish I would've known before my first 10-day Vipassana retreat
A few practical tips to navigate sitting in silence for 100+ hours in the Goenka-style retreats
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Over the years I’ve done five separate 10-day Vipassana retreats a la Goenka tradition. I’ve sat these retreats in India, Hong Kong, and Bali. While this is no longer my main practice, these retreats have been life-changing for me and I think there is benefit for people in attending. I’ve spoken to several Dhamma friends who have been on retreats to get their perspectives. Nowadays a lot of people are considering going on these retreats so I thought I would share a few things I wish I would have known beforehand!
What is Vipassana meditation?
"The path of Vipassana is to learn how to free the mind of suffering and to lead a happy, peaceful, and harmonious life." - Goenka
Vipassana typically refers to meditation that stems from the Theravada Buddhist tradition. Technically speaking, there isn’t one technique that is vipassana, as the word just means “to see things clearly” in the old Indian language of Pali. Through different meditation techniques, namely focusing on your breath and body, you come to clear realizations and insights about yourself and the nature of reality — eventually leading to awakening. The other way to say this is “insight meditation.”
The type of vipassana meditation that you learn can vary greatly depending on the school of thought and the teacher. For example, in Mahasi Sayadaw school, there is a focus on noting sensations and thoughts. In the Spirit Rock meditation center in California, there is a stronger emphasis on incorporating emotional awareness into the practice using techniques like RAIN. In other schools, the focus can be on the solely feeling the breath in your entire body, or jhana practice where you are going through progressive stages of deepened insight.
The Vipasanna meditation tradition that has become most popular is part of a non-profit organization which was started in the 1970s by a very jolly Burmese teacher named S.N. Goenka. Today there are over a hundred spread across the world, from India to the U.S. They’ve become popular through word of mouth, mention from famous bloggers, and interest from the tech community. That’s how I’d heard about it. Also, it helps that they are free and fully donation-based. While Goenka died in 2013, each retreat features video recordings of his lessons, along with hundreds of teachers globally who are trained in the technique that lead the retreats.
Practically speaking, the first three days of the retreat you will be asked to practice concentration meditation, focused on your breath and a tiny point on your nose. From day 3-4, you will start the body-scan technique, where you are using your attention like a flashlight and scanning each part of your body, up and down, several hundred times a day. In doing this with a balanced mind, you start see the nature of your mind/body, and began to witness different states of consciousness that is beyond the conditioned mind.
A small warning⚠️
Many people jump head first into a 10-day retreat without knowing what to expect, because their friends did it and recommended it to them. You should know that this can be the first step on a long, spiritual journey, and it may not be one that everyone wants to take. It can be really pleasant and eye-opening, or it can also unlock/open up things inside of you very quickly…perhaps too quickly at times. There are also dangers of meditation which are not often spoken about in the meditation community, so do your own research. People have been known to have challenging experiences and on some, rarer occasions have mental breakdowns. If 10 days seems really daunting you can also consider looking for retreats that are 2-3 days long in other Vipassana or Zen centers which typically offer shorter retreats (whereas Goenka does not until you have done at least one of the 10-days retreats.)
Preparation before the retreat 💡
Practice beforehand: For the week prior to the retreat, I would always try and do more meditation to get in the flow of things. If you can, an hour or two hours of meditation a day. I know thats a lot for most people, so even 30 minutes is fine. Whatever you can manage! This will get your mind and body ready and will make it more likely you can hit the ground running from day 1.
Setting your own expectations: We are all starting from different places as meditators, so don’t expect to achieve huge things in just 10 days. It is best if you can let your expectations go from the very start, as those expectations tend to get in the way of accepting the present moment non-judgmentally. Set the intention to simply follow the instructions and enjoy the ride. It is interesting and fun to read about meditation beforehand but try not to compare your experience with others. If you want to learn more about the technique you can read Goenka’s book although I personally find most of this stuff doesn’t make sense until you actually start meditating for a few hours.
Learn about insight stages. There are some funky things that can happen in meditation when you are sitting in silence for a long time. The teachers don’t talk about these side effects — from psychedelic visions to rapid emotional processing to the feeling your body is dissolving. It’s good to know this can happen beforehand. Check out the Stages of Insight which map out the stages meditators can go through. Here is a good article by Daniel Ingram and I also recommend Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield. You will most likely experience progression through these stages, and it could be good to know this beforehand as some of the territory can be surprising and unsettling (like vibrations, electricity, the feeling of falling, visions etc). Beware not to get too fixated on looking for signs of your stage during the retreat (you can reflect afterwards and have these conversations with your dhamma brothers and sisters), as getting attached to these will only throw you off. The 16 stages of insight
Nail down sitting postures. Experiment with a handful of meditation postures so that you have more than one to choose from. You’ll be sitting 10 hours a day and will inevitably change your position as your legs get numb or your back gets sore. I personally cycle through four positions – legs crossed right over left or left over right, and one leg in front and one to the side, switching left and right leg. I actually can’t find the technical name of this second posture, so I’ve taken a picture here (if anyone knows what this is called, please let me know!) Also, when you get tired of this stuff, don’t be afraid to just lean against a wall or use a chair. People DO injure themselves on these retreats.
Prepare your body. Consider going to the chiropractor or physical therapist like I did before your retreat to get a really good back cracking. This will help make sure you’re nice and limber for the daily sessions. Learn some good stretches to loosen up your hips, legs and back. In the morning and at night I found myself doing lots of hamstring and lower back stretches to decompress (like legs on wall).
Tie up any loose knots (financial, personal, work related) so that you’re not worrying about them during your 10 days.
Books you can read beforehand 📚
How to meditate by Pema Chodron
A list of stuff to bring 🖋️
The center provides an extensive list of items to bring, which you should. On top of that list, I also bring along:
activated charcoal and anti-diarrhea medicine in case my stomach gets upset from any of the food
ear plugs for people snoring next door
thicker hoody, sweatpants and socks in case it gets chilly
not supposed to, but MCT oil/ coconut oil to get my healthy fats in case the food is too carby
eye drops
nasal decongestant, since you’re not talking for 10 days your throat will get pretty stuffed
constipation medicine. siting for that long slows down your metabolism and can make you really constipated
sardines
The first few days of Meditation
“Who is your enemy? Mind is your enemy. No one can harm you more than your own mind untamed. And who is your friend? Mind is your friend. No one can help you more than your own mind, wisely trained—not even your own mother and father.” —The Buddha
Be ready for anything…expect nothing. Get it out of your head that this is a vacation or that this is going to be fun..at least not the whole time. There might be both pleasurable moments, as well as painful moments, and the road can be rocky at times. Expect that anything could happen!
Yes, it’s normal to have a monkey mind. The first few days are usually the same. You realize your mind is busy as hell and wonder if you are doing it right. Don’t worry, this is normal. Everyone’s mind is typically VERY busy coming in, and now that you are sitting observing it, you realize how much of a monkey mind you have. Don’t get discouraged — you are seeing things as they are.
Tune your effort. I find that people either tend to try too hard or not hard enough. If you’re the type of person that is type A and overachieves, you might want to actively relax and take it easy; personally I have found that my most profound moments during the retreat have been when I “gave up” after trying to sit for too long. And when I did that, everything fell into place and I had the best meditation session up to that point. On the other side of the spectrum, if you tend to half ass things or get too relaxed, then consider waking up early and really putting in some effort. This is represented in a classic Buddhist story:
“What happens when you tune your instrument too tightly?” the Buddha asked.
“The strings break,” the musician replied.
“And what happens when you string it too loosely?”
“When it’s too loose, no sound comes out,” the musician answered. “The string that produces a tuneful sound is not too tight and not too loose.”
“That,” said the Buddha, “is how to practice: not too tight and not too loose.”
Arrive early to meet other attendees before it starts. On day 0 of the retreat before it officially starts, I recommend arriving early and chatting with all of the meditators to get to know them a bit. It’s easy to get really irritated during 10 days of complete silence, and you’ll be less likely to harbor any “ill will”, serious agitation or murderous thoughts at the toe-picking fidgety meditator if you know John by his first name and a bit about him vs. being “that annoying guy.” I did that for my second retreat and was able to really focus on my practice and not get distracted by others.
Forget about time. The gongs will mark the start and end of the meditation, so you really don’t need to bring a clock or watch. I also find this makes it easier to just do your meditation without thinking about the time or checking your watch. Time will just flow, and it’s a very cool feeling when you’re going for an hour and it only feels like 20 minutes (less cool when it’s only been 5 minutes and feels like an hour). How many times in your life can you really stop worrying about time? It is extremely liberating.
Get your cushion or chair setup. You can definitely use a few cushions to elevate your hips and find a comfortable position. You can also bring your own cushion if you prefer. They seem to discourage the use of chairs which I find a little bit silly, considering that the point of meditation is not to torture yourself but to be comfortable enough to meditate but not too comfortable as to fall asleep. So do not be afraid to ask for a chair or to lean against the wall. This is NOT a competition.
Progressing through several day of silence 🧘
“What would it be like if I could accept life--accept this moment--exactly as it is?”
― Tara Brach
Don’t overthink it. Goenka is pretty clear about the instructions throughout the entire 10 days and you will have this drilled into you. The best advice here is to let go of any doubt and follow the instructions to the tee. Take everything literally. At first, it feels a little bit weird like, “is this it? I just focus on the small area below my nostrils for three days?” At times it feels like there’s not enough, like there should be some cool new visualization technique, but there’s not. Let go of your expectations and trust the process, and you’ll see soon enough.
Find your own pace. Usually when I start, I will meditate the whole time and go to all of the sittings including the 4:30 am sessions. Eventually, I start to find my own pace and rhythm, and will go the sittings whenever I feel like it. Sometimes you need to take a nap. Or go for a nice long walk (or back and forth in a smaller walkings pace, depending on the retreat center). Sometimes you want to stare a tree for a few minutes or the sky and take it all in.
“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” - Christopher Germer
Don’t feel pressured to go in the hall all the time. You have the option to meditate in your room. When you don’t feel like meditating, just set the intention to meditate lightly. Interestingly, on day 8 of one retreat I was exhausted because it felt like I was working really hard (the opposite of what you should do in meditation), so I decided to just relax and focus more on my breath. Surprise surprise – when I let go of “trying too hard” I was able to get into a very deep state and made the most progress on day 8.
The paradox of intention = reaching our goals by giving up the attempt to reach them.
Try lying down meditation. Once you get the hang of the body scan technique introduced on day 4, it’s actually really easy to do when reclined. I found myself doing the technique as I fell asleep every night for an hour or two. It’s also possible to be in a super deep meditative state for the whole night, doing body scans, and not actually sleep but feel just fine the next day. This extra practice will make your practice stronger.
Walking is critical. They do not emphasize walking enough in the tradition. But it’s super important to get your blood flowing. Make sure you are walking around at least 10 minutes after each sit, and do longer walks during the morning, lunch and afternoon breaks. You’ll find that when you have had longer walks this makes your meditation easier.
Tricks your mind tries to play on you 🎩🐇
When mind wandering distractions rise in quality, when they become more attractive and hard to ignore. “But it’s so interesting!!!” Realize that this is also a distraction — just a more attractive distraction. At first, your distractions will be really scattered like things you have to do, the past, the future, and whatever pops into your head. But as you get into a deeper state after a few days, you might have a relationship breakthrough or philosophical breakthrough or some new business idea.
I’ve written entire books in my head in a 1 hour sitting and one guy I spoke to planned out a fashion business he plans to start. While it’s nice to have the creative boost, it is actually is just a distraction. Notice this. Let it pass. Don’t indulge it. Similarly, do not journal. Your opinions and ideas will change over 10 days, and if it’s truly important, you will remember it. Personally I find nothing wrong with jotting down a few notes in my journal, but don’t make this into a daily habit. Don’t get caught up in the distraction, no matter how amazing it seems, and go back to the technique. :)
Food 🍔
Don’t eat too much, eat just enough. They recommend your stomach to remain ¼ empty. I truly find it easier to meditate when my face is not stuffed. You’ll also see that your appetite decreases anyways as your meditation practice deepens, and you’ll just want to meditate instead of eat. Remember the Japanese phrase “hara hachibu,” or stomach 80% full.
I didn’t skip any meals, as you only get breakfast and lunch, 630 am and 1130am, and no dinner (but a small fruit snack in the afternoon), so you’re intermittent fasting anyways. Some days I ate lighter than others, just depends on how I feel.
A note on fasting and why you shouldn’t at least not for your first one: the meditation is hard enough as it is, so fasting adds another layer of difficulty. I think if you’re more experienced, you can explore this.
Sleepiness 😴
You will probably get sleepy at times. When you do, get up and walk around and splash cold water in your face. Take a nap after lunch. Do not “fight” the sleepiness, but let it be there without adding any extra judgment or resistance. Once your mind becomes sharp and focused again, it will dissipate.
Sleepiness is also one of the 5 hindrances. There are times when you feel super well rested and energized, but then when you sit to meditate you become drowsy. This is totally normal. The key is not to get frustrated or upset that this is happening, and bring some metacognition (mindfulness!) to your experience. Notice if you are being judgmental (“I shouldn’t be falling asleep!”) and simply let the experience unfold. If you fall asleep, fine, if you don’t, that is also fine. After a while, you will notice that you become less sleepy.
Mindfulness is “awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, nonjudgmentally.” Nonjudgmentally is the key word here. - Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pain
There are two types of pain you will experience:
Meditation pain. This is general discomfort that comes from your mental reactions to things. The feeling that “I don’t want to be sitting here” or boredom or frustration. This pain will go away, you will notice, when you stand up and open your eyes. If you’re doing the technique properly, this discomfort and meditation pain will dissipate, and you will have hours with no pain. Really.
Real pain. When you stand up and you still feel a lot of pain in your leg or are limping, then that is real. Do not ignore it. If you get to a point where you’re only experiencing pain and it’s seriously impacting your meditation, take longer walks and breaks. Do not push yourself. Go lean against the wall or ask for a chair. You can still meditate just fine this way and there is no magic in the cushion!
Teacher hours ⏰
Take advantage of teacher hours. Once a day around lunchtime you can speak to the teacher or TA for 5 minutes. They are trained to give short answers and help you nail down the technique, so don’t expect to have any super deep conversations. They are there mostly for moral support and to keep you on track. Most of the time they will clarify your concern, give you a quick tip, and you’re on your way. I have tried to poke and prod about the technique, philosophy, etc. but they really don’t go down that route. Also keep mindful that there are other students who are waiting and want to talk, too.
That said, this is still helpful and I definitely encourage you to speak to the teacher if you find yourself struggling with anything — whether that’s distractions or something technical about the how to do the body scans, or whatever. I personally went to see the teacher 4 times during my 10 day retreat and she shared some valuable advice that helped ground me and gave me a strong finish.
Mettā — loving kindness meditation ❤️
On the final day you learn a new technique called Mettā, or compassion-loving-kindness meditation. It comes at the end of a tough 10 day “surgical operation of your mind” (Goenka likes using this analogy). In order to, metaphorically speaking, stitch up the wounds you’ve opened and integrate back into ‘normal life,’ the Mettā serves to ground you so that you can finish on a compassionate note.
Considering how specific the Vipassana instructions are, the Mettā is off-putting for a lot of people because there are practically no instructions from Goenka - just something vague about feeling love and a bunch of off-key chanting.
However, I find that the metta technique can be one of the most powerful parts of the retreat, if you do it right. After speaking to a few experienced meditators and teachers, and after starting metta practice called TWIM in the last year which has been very fruitful for me, here’s how to do it:
Bring to mind someone that you love or care about. The traditional instructions suggest a friend who you have a good relationship with who is still alive, and not a romantic partner.
Imagine them sitting in front of you, or just flash an image of them in your head. And begin to send the love that you feel back to that person. You and this person are similar. Just like you, this person wishes to be happy. Send all your love and warm wishes to that person. “May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be full of love.”
Similarly, you can send these words to yourself, too. May I be happy. May I be free from suffering. May I be full of love. Repeat these words, connect with the feeling, and try to keep a smile on your face as you do it!
Post-retreat integration 🔗
Expect afterglow and/or aftershock. Shinzen Young talks about common experiences for meditators post retreat. They feel really great, more open, free, and passionate about life. There is a huge afterglow, and in that case all you need to do is ride the wave! Other people feel a bit jarred by going back into day to day life, with work, bills and responsibilities. It can be hard to put your experience into words, and there is a bit of aftershock. The advice is to make sure you have a daily meditation practice and give yourself at least a few days after the retreat to decompress, if you can. Maybe go to the beach or nature, slowly get back onto your phone etc. and then ease into things instead of jumping head first. I always book a place nearby in nature for 2-3 days after the retreat to decompress.
Find a meditation group. It is easy to get super excited about your experience and shout it at the top of your lungs. Most people are not going to understand, and it is going to be hard to relate which can feel isolating and frustrating. To stay connected, find a local meditation group with like-minded people who can relate to your experience and where you can continue your practice.
Don’t get caught up in the cult. There are many types of meditations out there and the one you did is not the “best one” in any objective sense. So don’t get all high and mighty. If it works for you, great, but that doesn’t mean it works for everyone. Realize that a lot of meditation traditions converge in the same place, so it doesn’t matter too much what tradition you do, as long as you spend enough time going deep into it.
Well, that’s about it. If you have any questions comment below and happy to answer.
Enjoy your first retreat — I hope it’ll be a very fruitful 10-days of your life. :)
Be safe and be happy!
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