I Hired a Jungian Psychoanalyst Who Works with Serial Killers to Analyze my Dreams
My insights into using dream analysis for shadow work and integration
The Start of My Journey into Dream Analysis
I put a blank journal on my bedside table and bought a pen with a built-in flashlight so I could write in the middle of the night. Most people say they don’t remember their dreams. This was the case for me, too. But I discovered that simply having the notebook next to my bed and making the intention to record dreams was enough to start remembering them!
The first few nights I would wake up and typically record two or three dreams. There were really obvious ones, like the one I wrote about in my post about becoming a dad, where a lion entered our house that I tamed — representing my fear of holding a vulnerable child and the subsequent relaxation of that fear into the role of protector.
But there were a lot of dreams that I didn’t understand, yet clearly had deep symbolism. Dreams of being lost in the desert with a ground made of mycelium, school buses full of my personalities, dreams zipping through water, upgrading cabins and ships evaporating into thin air, falling through the sky, female goddess statues demanding answers in forceful tones. Family members and friends, death and bones, floating orbs and judges in familiar places.
Clearly these meant something, but I had little idea of what. Google searches revealed a hodgepodge of interpretations of water and statues and school buses. It was hard to decipher and all a bit too elusive. I needed to find a pro.
The Psychoanalyst / Kung-fu Master Who Works with Serial Killers
I reached out to an eccentric psychoanalyst online who was trained in the classical Jungian school in Switzerland, and had an expertise in dream analysis.1 “There aren’t too many of us around,” he told me, stroking the ends of his scraggly, pepper-colored fu manchu beard. “We’re a dying breed.” It seems that the Jungian school had fallen out of favor for more modern psychotherapies like CBT, he explained.
He told me that he worked with celebrities and serial killers. I found this really fascinating. I asked him about serial killers and what insights he’d gained into their minds. Not indulging me too much, he shared one thing he learned. “The most frequent comment from serial killers is that they’re surprised that they didn’t get caught sooner.” This sent chills down my spine.
Okay, I didn’t really need a psychoanalyst with that much experience. I told him that my case was going to be pretty easy as my problems were minuscule in comparison to navigating the mind of a killer. I just wanted some silly dreams analyzed! He bellowed in laughter. “Uhuh, yeah. That’s what all the crazy ones say.” But, he agreed to help me. He had a particular fondness for Asia and me being in Japan intrigued him. He’d never been to Japan but had spent time in China and practiced Shaolin kung fu for many years. This explained his choice in facial hair style, although I didn’t inquire.
What struck me about him was that he was extremely sharp, irreverent and cut through my B.S. completely — more like a cursing Mr. Miyagi than a considerate therapist. Unlike therapists I’ve had before who spent time validating my emotions and empathizing with me (“that must have been really tough for you…”), he would often interrupt me mid-sentence and say, “You’re f*cking lying to yourself.” I’d jerk back in my seat, taken aback for a moment. But then I would smile. It was a far-cry from the softness of past therapists and the politeness I experienced daily in Japan. But this is exactly what I needed. The truth, with no frills and a punch to the face.
Dreams as a Gateway to Emotional Processing
But why did I need to analyze my dreams, something which seemed kind of fluffy and so open to interpretation (and potentially misinterpretation)? I’d spent the last two years deeply focused on my meditation practice. I’d spent over 40 days in silence and had many epiphanies. Practically speaking, meditation showed me what I was holding on to and led me to to pull the plug on my startup and to get past my debilitating burnout.
And yet, an insight that I had was that simply “letting go” through deepening levels of meditation (jhanic states) or even reaching states of awakening like stream entry wasn’t enough. Some things were deeply lodged in my psyche. There was a difference between states of consciousness and structures of consciousness that needed to be integrated. To uncover the gold, as they say, I would have to dig through more sh*t.
So, what’s so useful about dream analysis? Something like 70% of people who work with dreams in therapy report having benefited from deeper understanding of themselves. Studies suggest that dreaming during REM sleep plays a crucial role in emotional regulation and memory consolidation. Dreaming is not merely a replay of past experiences but involves the creation of a virtual world that aids in problem-solving and emotional coping. We need dreams to process our emotions.
Max Goodbird atSuperb Owlmakes the point that while meditation and psychedelics seem to get a lot of attention, dreaming hasn’t been given much attention — although it can be equally effective (and arguably more sustainable) in personal transformation.
In understanding the meaning in our dreams, we can uncover some hidden gems and come to terms with what’s holding us back and what we need to work on. Carl Jung said about dreams,
“…when at last we penetrate to its real meaning, we find ourselves deep in the dreamer’s secrets and discover with astonishment that an apparently quite senseless dream is in the highest degree significant, and that in reality it speaks only of important and serious matters.”
The theory is that when we are ready to have that dream, to understand and accept it, then our unconscious will bring it forth into our awareness for digestion and integration.
My Dream Interpretation: A Ship Flying Through the Sky and Navigating a Maze
I’ll share one dream with you, which I recorded in my dream journal, and the interpretation of it that I came to with the help of the psychoanalyst.
The dream:
My wife and I and friends are on a giant cruise ship. We get upgraded to a nicer, secluded larger cabin. My uncle gives us wine and presents but we don’t like them. I’m a little bit cold or indifferent to the situation. The ship is suddenly sucked into the air via some magnetic technology, and now we are flying through the air. The purpose of going into the air is for “safety reasons,” according to some announcement. But then we come crashing back down, shortly after.
We are now navigating the ship through some empty or dead city, it’s a maze. After some time, we come across another ship, which I am excited about. But then, the other ship suddenly disintegrates into a skeleton - it becomes a pile of bones right in front of our eyes. I am surprised. Out of the pile of rubble emerges a giant female statue; I feel that this statue is somehow me, an incarnation of myself. The statue towers over us and says in a stern and harsh voice, “What do you want?” The dream ends and I wake up.
Interpretation: According to the psychoanalyst, my dreams were pretty easy to interpret. Here were the key elements:
Cruise ship: Water represents the unconscious mind. Moving through water represents a flow or progression in your life. The ship on the sea represents me flowing through life and simultaneously exploring the depths of my psyche.
Cabin Upgrade: The secluded larger cabin we were upgraded to represents my ideals, and my uncle represents the past. My wife represents companionship. Uncle offering me wine and gifts in the cabin indicates I am clear on my ideals. I know what I do and don't want in life right now.
Flying through air: Being pulled up into the sky may signify a transition or elevation in my consciousness. When I come crashing back down, it represents there are still some setbacks in my life, and the need to face reality.
Maze: I am dropped in the dead city, which is basically a maze. It could mean something important is missing in my social life. I am trying to figure out what I want to do, and am looking for another ship to be with or go on or connect with.
Skeleton ship: Then I come across a ghost ship that turns into a skeleton — the bones represent my internal self, which is falling apart in front of me. This symbolizes a disappointment or disillusionment in a relationship or connection with myself/others.
Female statue: The female statue erected in front of asks me "what do you want?" in a stern voice. She is asking me exactly that. Indeed, what do I want in my life right now? The opposite sex in your dreams usually represents you, or the other side of you (in Jung’s terms, the anima or animus). The stern and harsh voice may suggest a need for me confront and understand this (feminine) aspect of myself more directly.
Indeed, this dream was rather timely as I was in the midst of a lot of emotional processing in my life. To add more context:
I’d stopped drinking alcohol for over a year now and this has reduced my friend group and the type of people I hang out with. While before there was still a bit of temptation or even guilt about this, I was feeling a renewed clarity and confidence around choosing this path.
I had tried to get back into a full-time recruitment job (my past career), but quit after 9 days (a record, I’m sure, haha!). I quickly realized that I had already been moving on my path towards being a full time mindfulness guide. It felt right to stay on that path instead.
Due to disillusionment with the spiritual path (finding that there is a LOT more work to do), and some conflicts with friends, I was in the process of starting to do my own Shadow Work (I wrote about this here) through dream analysis and reading books like The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. This involved “poking the bear” at my masculine/feminine sides, i.e., taking up boxing as a more aggressive energy release, doing more dancing to feel into the feminine, and asking open questions about sexuality and being totally open to the answers that came back.
Summary: All in all, this dream gave me indicators that I was on the right path and making progress; it also propelled me to look deeper at my own goals and continue to ask questions and explore the masculine/feminine.
A Few Key Tips on How to Interpret Your Own Dreams
If you don’t feel like paying top dollar to hire a Jungian psychoanalyst (although you can find some affordable ones through BetterHelp.com), here is a quick rundown of important points to consider in analyzing your own dreams:
#1 What people in your dreams represent:
The people in your dreams usually don’t actually represent those people, they represent emotional states, values or ideals. For example, in my dream about the flying ship, my uncle represented “the past” for me (we live in different countries and my memories of him are from many, many years ago). To figure out what that person represents, ask yourself, “What’s the first thing I think of when I see that person?” Don’t over-think it, just say the first thing that comes to mind.
#2 The three types of dreams:
There are some dreams where you don’t really need to analyze thing - they are just memories or fantasies. It’s the processing dreams that have the juiciest content for interpretation.
Memory dreams. You remember something that happened in the past. Sometimes with minor changes. There is nothing to do here, it’s just your mind replaying stuff.
Fantasy dreams. A dream where there is a hero, victim, getting revenge, or some typical schema where you are acting out some desire. Maybe you are late to class or miss an important deadline; these represent something we might have on our minds.
Processing dreams. Where the brain is trying to understand what happened using emotional states that you are feeling recently or in the past. (This is what I am most interested in.)
#3 Usually the Simple Act of Interpreting the Dream is the “Processing”!
Your intention to record your dreams and interpret them is the gateway to processing. When you make conscious your past and then actually understand it, that means you “process” it! It doesn't necessarily require you to do anything further. It can come in the form of acceptance, like “Okay, I am over that now.”
Other times, it might require you to take some action. I remember having a very literal dream about lying to my parents, and after that dream I remember feeling like I had to come clean to them about a few things in my life. This was visceral and required me to have some conversations afterwards.
Another example: if you have a recent breakup that is emotionally charged and you are not ready to forgive yet (rather, you are just experiencing/feeling through the anger, hurt and grief), then you will probably not have a dream about it. But when you have stabilized a bit and there is enough room mentally/emotionally to process this, and perhaps with more maturity and time, you could have a dream that calls you to forgive, accept and move on.
Getting started: To get started with dream analysis you don’t need anything fancy. A pen and notepad next to your bedside and the intention to record your dreams is really sufficient. Start there and see where it takes you!
Thanks for reading. :)
As always, I’d love to hear from you. Comment and let me know below…
Have you had any dreams lately that seem significant or hard to interpret? Feel free to share them below.
What is your experience with dream analysis?
Although Both Freud and Jung developed the basis for modern psychology, they have been out of favor for many years in favor of a more humanistic approach emphasizing acceptance, unconditional positive regard and the work of Carl Rogers and modern approaches like cognitive-behavioral-therapy. I also think that the Jung’s work was too metaphorical, too focused on dreams, images, heroes and archetypes whereas nowadays we want something tangible and straightforward, and perhaps more intellectual.
so inspiring Misha! I just recently, in 2 nights streak dreamt about 'yikes thing' that later I had explanation based on Jungian dream interpretation via internet articles..which is make sense. im glad my subconscious side still supports my conscious one :D