It is interesting that so many of the negative experiences you describe here link back to being mimetic. That's a word I actually didn't know, very cool! As you investigate these experiences, are there specific moments that link back to the disconnection from your intuition? Bearing in mind that so much of what we see in start-up's is exactly the opposite of what you are posting here. Don't be too hard on yourself, this is epic!
Thanks Dave. Yeah, there's a great book on Mimetics called Wanting by Luke Burgis that you might enjoy! There were definitely several moments where I suppressed that intuition using my intellect. I remember at times there was this feeling of "something is missing," which I'd investigate briefly. It was a mix of loneliness, feeling hollow and not really satisfied with the day to day work I was doing. However, these were brief flashes, and I would push them down and try and focus on the next thing. There's always some new project or marketing campaign or product feature or idea that you can try to implement, so I'd turn myself away from really exploring why I was unhappy to instead chasing the next thing within the context of the startup. What likely made this easy for me to do was I had a slew of tools -- meditation, running, saunas -- that made me feel "good" physically and actually made it EASIER to ignore my emotions in a way, if that makes sense. This was counterproductive. I'll explain more in my next posts!
It is interesting that so many of the negative experiences you describe here link back to being mimetic. That's a word I actually didn't know, very cool! As you investigate these experiences, are there specific moments that link back to the disconnection from your intuition? Bearing in mind that so much of what we see in start-up's is exactly the opposite of what you are posting here. Don't be too hard on yourself, this is epic!
Thanks Dave. Yeah, there's a great book on Mimetics called Wanting by Luke Burgis that you might enjoy! There were definitely several moments where I suppressed that intuition using my intellect. I remember at times there was this feeling of "something is missing," which I'd investigate briefly. It was a mix of loneliness, feeling hollow and not really satisfied with the day to day work I was doing. However, these were brief flashes, and I would push them down and try and focus on the next thing. There's always some new project or marketing campaign or product feature or idea that you can try to implement, so I'd turn myself away from really exploring why I was unhappy to instead chasing the next thing within the context of the startup. What likely made this easy for me to do was I had a slew of tools -- meditation, running, saunas -- that made me feel "good" physically and actually made it EASIER to ignore my emotions in a way, if that makes sense. This was counterproductive. I'll explain more in my next posts!